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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25038523">Give me a reason to stay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thermalstar/pseuds/Thermalstar'>Thermalstar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>When lost souls are found [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Complete, F/F, Multi, Science Fiction, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:14:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25038523</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thermalstar/pseuds/Thermalstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kara Danvers has been through a lot. She lost her world, her friends and family. She even lost herself. Regardless, she was the epitome of hope. She kept the people around her alive and safe, even when they disagreed with, or hated her. She was always there for them.<br/>What happens when Kara is no longer there?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>When lost souls are found [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828918</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>267</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Past and the present (part 1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kara Danvers is the definition of hope. It doesn’t matter whether she’s wearing the super-suit while fighting bad guys, or wearing a cardigan and glasses while writing an intense article. She always manages to bring hope and joy to those around her. She was always happy to be everyone's beacon of light. She was always there, until she wasn’t.</p><p>It has been almost a year since she fought that alien. Almost a year since she blew up. Almost a year since Alex was able to tell her sister that she loved her. </p><p>Nothing was the same without her. Alex promised herself that she wouldn’t let the super-friends lose touch with each other. She made sure that after a month of mourning Kara's death that they kept hanging out. She made sure that they were there for each other because that’s what Kara would have wanted. She would have wanted them to keep laughing and smiling while arguing about whether someone cheated during monopoly. She would have wanted them to support each other in the field too. Now that Kara was gone and Nia was taking over as Dreamer, Alex felt the need to protect her the way she couldn’t protect Kara. It had been 11 months since Kara died and things were getting back to normal. </p><p>Or at least that’s what Alex has been telling herself. </p><p>Truth is, nothing has ever felt the same. Alex was sitting on her couch drinking a beer while thinking about how much better this game night would be if Kara was there. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the room go quiet.</p><p>“Alex? You okay?” Kelly asked as she placed her hand on Alex’s knee.</p><p>“Yeah. I’m just thinking.” </p><p>“I thought the point of getting drunk and playing games was to stop thinking,” Winn drunkenly said. Kelly gave him a look in response. “Oh, sorry Alex. I'm just a bit drunk.” </p><p>There was tension in the room. There always was. What had started off being a way to stay in touch, turned into evenings where Alex’s friends waited for her to break down. It was exhausting but nice to know she had people that would do that for her. </p><p>“A bit? You could barely say that without slurring,” Alex said offering a smile. It wasn’t a happy smile but it was enough to relieve some of the tension in the room. </p><p>“I think everyone’s a bit tired. I mean, Nia is barely staying awake,” Kelly gently laughs as Nia yawns, “How about we turn game night into impromptu movie night? We still have Ice cream in the fridge and popcorn in the cupboards.”</p><p>“That’s actually a good idea. I don’t think anyone is winning against brainy tonight and today was exhausting with the bank robbery and all,” James adds as he leans back into the chair.</p><p>“Oooh can we watch <em> The Hustle </em>? Anne Hathaway is in it and I’ve heard it’s good,” Nia says as she starts to wake up a little.</p><p>“That is the actress that acted in <em> the Princess Diaries </em>, correct?” Brainy asked Nia.</p><p>“You made him watch <em> The Princess Diaries </em>? And didn’t invite me?” Winn asked with a shocked and hurt expression.</p><p>They continued to talk about Movies as Alex just watched them. Her first thought was; Kara would have loved this. Her second thought was; someone is missing. Lena Luthor. Alex kept inviting her but she kept turning her down or canceling. Her third though was; James is right. They needed a break and a night to just hang out without forced excitement. That;s how game nights felt. They felt forced and off. </p><p>“Sure we can do movie night,” Alex said as she got up from next to Kelly on the couch, “I’m going to go make popcorn.”</p><p>As Alex walked into the kitchen she was followed by J’onn. He stood at the other side of the island as he waited for Alex to put the popcorn bag into the microwave and turn around. </p><p>“Are you okay?” He asked. </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> She wasn’t lying. She was more ‘okay’ than she had been in a while. But she could have been better.</p><p>“You miss her,” J’onn stated.</p><p>“Are you reading my mind J’onn?” Alex teased. </p><p>“I don’t have to in order to see that you miss her,” he smiled at her, “She would have loved this.”</p><p>“Yeah. She would have,” Alex sighed as she thought for a moment. She tuned out the noise of her friends deciding what movie to watch and the obnoxiously loud popping of the popcorn. She just watched them. Brainy and Nia sat next to each other on the ground covered up in a blanket with Winn sitting next to them as him and Nia argued about which movie was better. James sitting on the solo chair on the right hand side of the couch talking with M’gann and Kelly. M’gann was sitting on the left side of the couch with Kelly all the way on the right. And J’onn standing right next to her. He always seemed to be there for her. They all did. This was her family. They were as happy as they could be without Kara being the hope and happiness that lit up their lives. </p><p>Alex turned to J’onn again and saw he had a calming and gentle smile on his face. “I just really miss her. And I was thinking about how Lena wasn’t here. Kara would have wanted her here, but she’s just so closed off,” Alex said as she looked down onto the counter. She didn’t know where that statement came from but she couldn’t help but think she was letting Kara down. “I don’t know J’onn. I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep going. It just hurts so much.”</p><p>Alex was so focused on holding back tears that she didn’t notice J’onn coming to her side of the island until his arms were around her. They didn’t usually hug like this but he knew she needed it so she let him. She didn’t cry but she felt calmer and more grounded after that. She always did after talking to J’onn.</p><p>“I’m going to take the popcorn to the others and I’ll give you a moment. When you’re ready you can join us, alright?” He looked at her and smiled. All Alex could do was nod in response. </p><p>As J’onn left to join the other, she pulled out her phone and sent a quick text message. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hey. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I know you said you were busy but if you want to join us for movie night tonight, you’re more than welcome to come. You don’t actually have to say anything. I just thought it’d be nice if you were to hang out with us. I figure some company is better than none.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Anyways, let me know if you’re coming so I can bring out the bottle of scotch from the cupboard. These guys are light weights. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>As soon as she sent the message, Alex made sure her phone wasn’t on silent and joined the others.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is my first fic. Hope you like it. Also... I kinda didn't watch season 5 of Supergirl. I know I know. How could I, right? To be fair... I can't exactly watch any TV-shows because I get too anxious. Which means I am not watching any TV-shows. </p><p>Feel free to comment and call out any mistakes I made. Also let me know if you like this writing style.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Past and the present (part 2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lena receives Alex's text. How will she react an how is she doing without Kara in her life?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a long day of work Lena would normally make herself a drink, change into comfortable clothing and read until she was tired enough to fall asleep. If she were hungry she would see if she had anything in the fridge, which was unlikely as she spent most of her time at work, or she would order in some takeout. Before Lena met Kara, she would order food from some healthy and expensive place. But during their friendship, Lena learned to love Chinese takeout. So now her go-to order is pot-stickers. </p><p>Eating pot-stickers and fried rice with Kara had been her new normal and she loved it. She loved being surrounded by Kara’s love and warmth as well as the friends that she brought with her. Lena hated admitting it, but she really missed Kara's friends whom she had grown to call her own. </p><p>Normally after a long day of work she’d get slightly drunk, eat takeout and distract her mind with a random book. Normally. But today, she had a call with a company in Beijing which meant that after today's long day of work, she’d have to be on a call for two (possibly three) hours with people when she’d rather be alone. Today was not an ideal day for Lena. Then again, she was grateful for the distraction this meeting would bring. </p><p>The meeting with the company in Beijing went well. They were meeting to discuss LCorp’s Alien study project. This project was meant to study alien physiology for medicinal purposes which would give aliens all around the world better access to healthcare. </p><p>LCorp would help fund the project as well as supply some of the tech needed but wouldn’t actually take part in any of the research. Despite Lena’s continuous effort to turn things around, the public still didn’t seem to trust LCorp’s intentions. Hence Lena collaborating with a pro-alien company that had already begun research on different species of alien. </p><p>Kara would have loved this. Of course she would because Lena did it for her. Lena knew from the moment they had their first lunch together that she would do anything for her. She didn’t know why back then which was frustrating for her. Without their daily lunches, their ‘last-minute post long day’ movie nights or the funny gifs and cryptic sequences of emojis, she knows. It took losing Kara to see just how hopeless she was. </p><p>While pouring herself a drink and ordering her go-to order, she checks her notification for any messages she might’ve missed while in her meeting.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hey. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I know you said you were busy but if you want to join us for movie night tonight, you’re more than welcome to come. You don’t actually have to say anything. I just thought it’d be nice if you were to hang out with us. I figure some company is better than none.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Anyways, let me know if you’re coming so I can bring out the bottle of scotch from the cupboard. These guys are light weights. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It was Alex. Wednesdays were game nights and Lena always avoided them. Although, most of the time she was actually busy, the times she wasn’t she’d come up with an excuse not to go. The first few invites she declined because she thought that they wouldn’t want to see her. But they kept asking about her and trying to make plans no matter how many times she said no. After that it was because she felt guilty. She felt like she didn’t deserve to be surrounded by Kara's friends. Lena though it was her fault that the beacon of hope in their lives was no longer there. </p><p>As much as she missed her friends, it didn’t feel right anymore. Especially after avoiding them for so long. She wanted to geek out about Star Wars with Winn, to discuss the science behind the type of work that Kelly does, talk about how much she hates white misogynistic men with Alex, argue with Brainy about who is more intelligent. She wanted to do all that and more. She wanted to get to know Nia a bit better and she wanted to learn more about mars’ history from J’onn and M’gann. There was so much she wanted to do with them. But she felt like she didn’t deserve to. So she avoided them and kept herself busy with so much work that her definition of a long day changed drastically since before she met Kara. </p><p>Lena looked down at her phone again, her fingers hovering over the keyboard.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sorry! Was in a meeting.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lena wrote back, closed her phone and went to get changed into something more comfortable. She didn’t feel like reading today so she picked up her drink, sat on her couch and turned on her television. She started mindlessly scanning through the different channels. She didn’t necessarily want to watch anything in particular so she just looked out for anything that caught her eye. She took a sip of her drink as he read through the channels and saw the wildlife channel that Kara made her watch one time. Kara had told her that the animals on that show are “too cute to allow anyone watching to function normally”. Lena didn’t exactly know what Kara had meant by that, all she knows is that the animals on that show were quite adorable. She selected the channel and watched as she drank the rest of her drink and remembered the comments Kara had made the last time she’d watched this. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Lena felt a gentle breeze blow past her as she opened her eyes. Her hands brushed the prickly grass that covered as far as her eye could see. The field stretched out until it met the cloudless sky. A few flowers poked up from the long grass, giving the sea of green specks of color. She breathed in the fresh air when she suddenly heard someone call out her name. The voice sounded familiar. </p><p>“Kara?”</p><p>“Lena?” a voice said from behind her. Lena quickly turned around and was met with blue eyes. </p><p>“Kara? Is that you?” Lena asked, although she was sure of the answer. </p><p>“Lena,” she responded with a soft, kind tone. Kara looked deeply into Lena’s eyes, allowing Lena to take in just how beautiful Kara’s eyes were. </p><p>Lena took a step back as she looked Kara up and down. She was wearing a white gown and her hair was down. She looked breathtakingly beautiful. How did Lena ever let her go? Lena was about to reach out to touch Kara's cheek when she was suddenly woken up by a loud alarm. It was a dream. Lena wished it was real. To be able to see Kara again and to tell her how she really felt was all she could ask for. But Kara was gone and was never coming back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So... I was contemplating whether I should watch season 5. Short answer; yes I should. Long answer; still afraid. Which leads me to my next point &gt; I am not sure whether I will include details from season 5. Maybe as I continue writing it I will. But unless I watch it, the story will probably be an alternate version of the season? </p><p>I don't know how this will unfold, I just hope it's good. </p><p>Thank you fro reading :)</p><p>-M</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Deathiversary</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>How are the super-friends dealing with Kara's deathiversary approaching so fast?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Three days away from Kara’s deathiversary</b>
</p><p>It’s the middle of the work day. Normally Lena would be immersed in one of her projects or arguing with some board members about the company’s direction. She didn’t expect to be staring at her laptop not able to work. All she could think about was Kara. </p><p>What was she going to do in three days? Was she going to Midvale where the super-friends and family were going to spend the day? Should she stay home and cry herself to sleep? She should probably drink herself to sleep. Keeping herself busy in the lab was another option. Anything that kept her away from Alex and the others was a better idea than going to Midvale. Before Kara died, Lena and Alex had grown closer. They understood each other's need to take care of Kara but also bonded over the research both of them conducted over time. Lena would have considered Alex a more than close- close friend. Seeing Alex again and looking her in the eyes knowing that she was the one that took her sister away from her would be too painful. </p><p>Lena started massaging her temples as she felt a headache creep up. She needed to do something to get her mind off Kara and her friends. She closed her laptop, picked up her phone and placed both in her purse. She looked around one more time, making sure she didn’t forget anything, and walked out her office door. Jess greeted her but Lena quickly told her she’d be out of the office for the rest of the day and only important calls and emails should be forwarded to her. Jess confirmed the changes to her schedule and Lena walked to the elevator. She clicked the floor only she had access to and scanned her thumb. She heard a small ping and the elevator started moving. Lena decided she was going to work until she couldn’t stand. Anything to get her mind distracted. </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Alex’s day wasn’t going much better. She had yelled at three of the new agents within the span of two hours. She was not in a good mood. One of their inmates escaped during transportation to the other facility and now they had to find them before they could hurt more people. Of course the days leading up to Kara’s deathiversary had to be eventful. No one really gave Kara a break, not even Alex. Everyone depended so much on her that living without her was a downright nightmare. </p><p>Alex really missed her sister and was ready to break down for a few days. But of course she couldn’t because there was an alien on the loose and she was the director of the DEO. Instead she yelled some orders at Vasquez. Thankfully most of her agents understood that what she was going through was hard. Even if they didn’t, no one dared to confront her about it. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Two days away from Kara’s deathiversary</b>
</p><p>The DEO managed to catch the alien that escaped only to have a group of people armed with alien tech keeping them busy. They attacked a university that was doing research about light-core energy using a rare and dangerous element. Alex assembled a strike team and they made their way to the university. They made their way into the entrance of the lab when suddenly a purple beam was coming their way.</p><p>Alex barely had time to yell cover before the beam hit right in front of her and her team, launching her back against a desk. She immediately got up and took cover behind a desk while yelling some orders to her team. She propped her gun onto the desk and aimed at the group and fired some shots. One of them quickly set up a device that created a shield around them so the bullets couldn’t reach them. Alex considered throwing a grenade but then a container of explosive material caught her eye. Great. </p><p>“Winn, I can’t see what they're doing,” Alex said into her comms.</p><p>“They’re stealing the light core and the isotope from the device,” Winn quickly responded. </p><p>Alex looked around and saw a hiding spot that was closer and would allow her to see what was going on. She ducked down, pushed herself off of the desk and slid on the ground to the other desk. She peaked around the corner of the desk and saw them take the device. The shield was shut down and Alex immediately pulled out her gun and fired some shots, making sure to miss the explosive container. But before she could give her team orders, the group of criminals activated a device opening a portal and jumped through it. </p><p>“Dammit. Winn, where did they go?” Alex yelled into her comms.</p><p>“Tracking them now. Give me a second,” Winn replied quickly, “they went to earth one. I’m already contacting our friends there. I’ll let you know when they respond.”</p><p>Alex gave some orders to retreat and walked out of the university building. When she was back at the DEO, she took off her gear and walked to the control center and approached Winn.</p><p>“Hey Winn. I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier.” </p><p>“It’s okay, I get it,” Winn responded kindly.</p><p>“No it isn’t, but thank you for understanding,” Alex paused, “want to start packing up for earth one? I know you said you didn’t want to go but I think a change of scenery might help a bit.”</p><p>“You know what? Why not! But we need to talk to Lena. She created a balck-body field generator which we could use if she’d let us. Plus you’ve wanted an excuse to get her to talk to you.”</p><p>“That doesn’t actually sound like a bad idea. I don’t think she’ll listen to me though so maybe you should ask her.”</p><p>“Yeah probably,” Winn sighed. </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Lena had the news on in the background as she was testing one of her prototypes. </p><p>“National City University was attacked by criminals armed with alien tech. Authorities say that they stole a light powered device along with an isotope of a rare element,” the reporter says. </p><p>Lena looks up and sees the scene of crime. There were desks that had holes in them and others that were burnt to crisps. She hoped Alex was okay.</p><p>The tech described sounded like the weapons used at the gala a few years ago. Lena remembers that day vividly. She had invented a generator that would neutralize and shut down the weapons using intricate frequencies. She remembers how happy Kara looked as she ate pot-stickers. And Mike was there too. Lena didn’t really like Mike but he seemed to make Kara happy. </p><p>Maybe Lena should reach out to Alex to see if they needed the Black-Body field generator. No. If Alex needed her help she would ask. Right?</p><p>Lena shook her head and returned to the device in front of her and took some notes. </p><p>“Ms Luthor?” Jess asked through the comm system.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“You have someone here to see you. He says it’s an emergency,” Jess said carefully.</p><p>“Who is it Jess?”</p><p>“It’s Mr. Schott.”</p><p>He must be here for the generator. Of course.</p><p>“Let him in Jess.”</p><p>“Into your lab?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Lena couldn’t avoid them forever. At Least she didn’t really have the intention to do so but she wouldn't admit that out loud. She set her tablet onto the counter and adjusted her dress. She decided she was going to handle this the CEO way, this way she’d avoid a possible breakdown in front of Winn. She heard the ping of the elevator and saw Winn walk out. </p><p>“Leenaa,” Winn said, holding his arms out for a hug.</p><p>“Hi Winn,” Lena responded with a small smile as she tried not to panic into the hug. She hadn’t been hugged in a long time that she forgot just how comforting it could be. As Winn hugged her, some of the anxiety she had washed away. They stepped from each other and Lena asked, “So. What brings you to LCorp today?”</p><p>“You saw the news right?” he asked and Lena nodded. </p><p>“What happened? Is Alex okay?” Lena asked before she could catch herself.</p><p>“Yeah she’s fine,” Winn paused, giving Lena a reassured smile, “These guys had some pretty big and dangerous weapons so we couldn’t exactly attack them. Alex ended up watching them as they stole stuff and used a portal to get away to earth one.”</p><p>“Earth one? How are you going to stop them now?” Lena asked, genuinely curious.</p><p>“We have friends there who are going to help us catch them. That's why I came. Remember the gala?”</p><p>“Yeah, you and I were under the table together trying to activate the generator.”</p><p>“Yup, the good old days,” Winn responded slightly embarrassed, “I was hoping you could let us borrow it. Or at least give me the rundown of the schematics so I could recreate it.” </p><p>Winn looked tired. He was less energetic than he used to be. With that thought, Lena started feeling guilty again.  </p><p>“Sure. Let me get it.”</p><p>“You know, you should come with us,” Winn said carefully. </p><p>“I’m sorry I can’t. I have a few projects I’m working on. I’m really busy,” Lena replied without a second thought. Although it would be really cool and an incredible opportunity to travel between universes, the thought of facing Kara’s friends scared her. Instead of thinking about it, Lena unlocked one of her storage compartments at the back of her lab. She carefully took out the generator and placed it in Winn’s hands.</p><p>“Look Lena. I know what you’re doing. When things are tough, you work like there’s no tomorrow. I get it. But we miss you Lena. And none of us should be alone right now,” Winn said sadly. He waited for a moment to see if Lena would come up with an excuse before he continued talking. “Think about it this way. Lena, we need you. You are our friend and we need you to be there for us. That’s how being super-friends works. We support each other. You’re one of us now and there’s no backing out now. So please consider it.” Winn smiles and turns around and starts walking towards the elevator. </p><p>Lena understood what he’d meant. She missed them too but seeing them would hurt. But then again, nothing could hurt more than losing Kara. Maybe the pain is worth it. Maybe it’s worth feeling the loss all over again if it means that the rest of them get to heal. </p><p>“Winn wait. Let me grab my bag.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So... I know it feels like things keep getting worse but bare with me.</p><p>Please let me know what you guys would like to see in the future. All ideas are welcome. If anyone has feedback, also feel free to leave it in the comments.<br/>:)<br/>-M</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Getting by</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lena meets 'team flash' and some of Kara's other friends.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm not good at the science stuff so I hope it makes sense. Please point out if something doesn't make sense.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days. In two days Kara would have been gone for a year. </p><p>Alex had gone home to spend the rest of the day with Kelly before she had to go to earth one. They were sitting on Alex’s couch eating take-out and watching TV to pass the time. Kelly’s legs were resting on Alex’s lap as they sat in comfortable silence. It wasn’t until Alex started drawing circles on Kelly’s calf that Kelly started talking.</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>Alex, seemingly lost in thought, turns to Kelly. She looks like she’s about to say something but the words are caught in her throat. Before Alex can stop herself she starts crying.</p><p>“Oh honey,” Kelly says as she moves her legs, takes the take-out boxes and places them on the coffee table. She moves closer to Alex and wraps her arms around her. One of Kelly’s hands cradles Alex’s head closer to her chest while the other pulls her closer by her elbow. Kelly places a soft kiss to Alex’s head and rests her chin on her. “It's going to be okay,” she whispers to Alex, who is now fully crying and shaking in her arms.</p><hr/><p>Alex is in the control center of the DEO preparing two bags for their trip to Earth one. She already packed weapons and gadgets that could help them track down the criminals. She is in the middle of checking that she has everything when she sees Winn and Lena approach out of the corner of her eye. Lena looks very uncomfortable to be there as she carried the generator. Alex knows that Lena has been avoiding them because she either feels guilty or undeserving of their friendship. Maybe even both. Alex could only hope that things wouldn't be too awkward for them.</p><p>Alex turns towards Winn and Lena, who are now approaching her, and smiles gently at them. “Are you coming with us?” Alex asks. </p><p>She can see the hesitation in Lena’s eyes for a split second before it disappears and she responds with a simple “yes.” Lena has gone into ‘CEO mode’ as Kara liked to call it, which isn’t completely unexpected because she knew that Lena did that when she was uncomfortable. </p><p>“Winn, you got everything?” Alex asks as she finishes zipping the bags shut. </p><p>“Yep. ready?” he replies as he pulls out the inter-dimensional extrapolater. Alex nods. Winn moves past the both of them and presses the button, opening a portal. “I should warn you, it may make you feel a bit dizzy,” Winn says, directing his statement to Lena. </p><p>“Nothing I can’t handle,” Lena said.</p><p>Winn walks through the portal first with Lena following close behind. Alex does her final check, then finally walks through the portal. As they walked out the other side, Alex and Winn each carrying a bag and Lena carrying the generator, they were met by Iris and Barry. Alex set down her bag and walked over to Iris giving her a quick hug and shook Barry’s hand. Winn did the same and then they turned to Lena.</p><p>“Lena, this is Iris. And this is Barry,” Alex said, “guys, this is Lena Luthor.”</p><p>Just as Lena was about to shake their hands, a stranger's voice caught their attention.</p><p>“The infamous Lena Luthor,” the woman said as she walked closer to her. Lena immediately tensed up expecting the usual hurtful comments, since she <em> did </em> hurt their friend. “We’ve heard a lot about you,” she said as she stretched out her hand. That was not what she was expecting.</p><p>Lena took the outstretched hand, not allowing herself to show her hesitation, “and you are?”</p><p>“Kate Kane. Nice to meet you,” she replied with a smile.</p><p>“Why don’t we go meet the others?” Barry interjected. He looked down at the generator in Lena’s hands, “here, I can take that from you.” </p><p>Lena gave him the generator and followed Iris as she led the way through Star Labs. </p><p>Was this actually happening? Were they aware of what happened between her and Kara? Do they know that Lena was the reason why they lost their friend? She was prepared to receive glares or listen to passive aggressive comments. Instead she was met with kindness and acceptance. Lena felt unsure of how to act around them. She was used to having her name be met with hate,  anger or even fear. She definitely did not expect the kindness these strangers were giving her.  </p><p>As they walked into the room, Lena was taken aback by the amount of people there waiting for them. Of course Kara had a lot of friends, she was Kara. Kara easily brought smiles to peoples faces, so it would only be natural that she had this many friends. At first Lena was slightly jealous. And then she felt guilt wash over her as she realized that she could very well be the reason they lost her. </p><p>“Pull yourself together,” Lena thought to herself, “you aren’t here to feel guilty for yourself, you’re here to support Alex and Winn in whatever way you can.” Before she could allow herself to get more lost in her thoughts, she felt a gentle hand on her arm. She turned towards that person who was smiling at her. </p><p>“You okay?” she asked Lena. </p><p>Lena took in a deep breath and responded, “Yes.”</p><p>The woman smiled at her and held out her hand. “Hi. I’m Dr. Caitlin Snow. But you can call me Caitlin.”</p><p>Why was everyone so nice to her? “Hi,” Lena shook her hand, “Lena. Lena Luthor.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you.”</p><p>Lena had a hard time focusing. As the people around her were introducing themselves, she listened to their names. She was too overwhelmed to take in anything else so her body went on autopilot.</p><p><em> ...Cisco Ramon, Oliver Queen, Felicity Smoak, Ava Sharp, Sarah Lance… </em> All these people lost Kara. Lena was the reason they lost Kara.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re okay?” Caitlin asked which snapped Lena out of her thoughts. </p><p>She didn’t trust herself to say any words so she just nodded. </p><p>Caitlin smiled sadly, as if she knew the pain Lena was feeling. “Kara has told us a lot about you.”</p><p>“Good things I hope,” Lena responded with a well rehearsed smile. She owed it to Kara to be there for her friends, which meant avoiding a breakdown at all costs.</p><p>“She said you were really smart,” Kate said from next to her.</p><p>“Yes. I read about some of the projects you launched and I have to say I’m a big fan,” Felicity said excitedly. </p><p>“Fan?” Lena responded in disbelief. </p><p>“Yeah, your work is incredible,” Cisco said before Felicity could continue fangirling over Lena. </p><p>Lena couldn’t believe it. Normally what people like them did was fight Luthors, not appreciate their work. Lena was really out of her element. </p><p>“It’s odd having fans like this when you spend most of your time trying to convince people you’re doing good,” Lena said, looking a little more in shock than she had hoped. </p><p>Before Felicity could continue geeking out about Lena’s projects, Oliver Interrupted them, “We should start getting to work.” </p><hr/><p>“What I don’t understand is why they stole the light-core and then came to this earth,” Barry said frustrated.</p><p>“I don’t know either. I was hoping you could help with that. I don’t exactly know my way around your earth,” Alex responded sounding exhausted. </p><p>Lena wasn’t really participating in the conversation so she surprised everyone, including herself, when she said, “what if they’re trying to build something and something they need exists on this earth but not on ours.”</p><p>Everyone froze for a moment as if forgetting she was there. </p><p>“You have a point. But what could they build with a light-core?” Ava added.</p><p>“A lot of things,” Lena said pausing for a moment to think, “They didn’t just steal a light-core, right?” Alex nodded in response. “They also stole that element.”</p><p>“Yes,  but that element, as far as we know, is useless on its own,” Winn said as he pulled out the information about the element and showed it to Lena.</p><p>“That looks like Pandemonium. It’s a highly reactive metalloid that decays instantly if combined with an element that has similar properties to Francium. That element has not been discovered yet on our earth, maybe someone here on this earth has figured out how to make it?” Lena said as if thinking out loud so no one interrupted. “The element that was stolen was used as a prism for the light-core. The light-core can produce a beam of focused energy that could, if used correctly, kill cancer cells. But with a reactive form of Pandemonium, that beam can do more harm than good.” </p><p>Felicity was about to say something but Winn quickly stopped her knowing that Lena wasn’t done.</p><p>Lena got up and walked up to the whiteboard they had all been sitting around. She grabbed one of the markers and started writing onto an empty spot. </p><p>“This is the chemical composition of the element required to react with Pandemonium. If we can track down its wavelength, hypothetically speaking, we could find out where it is. Although, if they don’t end up using it, we should still keep an eye out for it. Because, combining these two elements without proper knowledge of their chemical structures could be catastrophic.”</p><p>As soon as Lena turned around, she realized everyone was staring at her. Some were confused and others looked like she had just unlocked the secrets to the universe. Lena didn’t know whether to feel uncomfortable or glad that she was able to impress them.</p><p>“Okay then. Let’s do that,” Oliver said, breaking the silence, “Do you know how to track the element?”</p><p>“Yes I do. I’d need to write an algorithm to scan for a certain level of alpha particles. It shouldn’t be too hard. I just need access to a computer and a satellite,” Lena said, sounding determined.</p><p>Oliver nodded and Cisco started talking about Star Lab’s satellite as Felicity and Winn joined them. As they were talking about how they were going to approach writing the program, Lena overheard Sara talking to Ava while taking a glance in Lena’s direction, “I understand why now.”</p><p>Lena was confused about what it meant but decided to let it go since she was determined to help them catch the bad guys.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Things are about to get really interesting. It still is a Supercorp story though sooooo...</p><p>The reason I'm taking so long to build up the story is because I want to make this good. I want to make sure that everything is clear and not repetitive. Please point out if anything is confusing or the way I wrote it doesn't make sense.</p><p>Should I write longer chapters and post every other day? I feel like that would be a good idea. Let me know what you think.</p><p>Also, thank you for Kudos and  thank you for reading.</p><p>Til' next time my dudes<br/>-M</p><p> </p><p>PS:<br/>I think the next chapter is going to be pretty long, so brace yourselves I guess. lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Battle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They find the bad guys and try to stop the before people get hurt. Will they succeed?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you guys like this chapter, Its a long one. I'm not great at writing action scenes but I try.</p><p>This chapter has 2340 words in it. Good Luck!</p><p>:)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lena had been working on creating a program that could track the radioactive decay of the new element for two and a half hours. It was around 11:15 when she had finally finished. She looked around and saw that both Felicity and Winn were starting to fall asleep and Cisco looked very tired as well. </p><p>“I’m done. All we have to do now is input this program into the satellite,” she whispered to Cisco.</p><p>“Damn girl, I thought I was good at this stuff,” Cisco said as he yawned, “you’re giving me a run for my money.”</p><p>Lena simply smiled at his response. Before he could get up to input the information she got up with a USB in her hand, “I’ll do it. You guys look just about ready to crash.”</p><p>“Are you sure? I can keep you company if you want.”</p><p>“I’ll come,” a familiar voice said from behind them. Lena turned around and saw Alex leaning on the frame of the entrance. “If you don’t mind of course,” she added.</p><p>Lena froze for a moment. She couldn’t turn Alex down now, no matter how hard it was. So she stood up taller and replied, “of course not.”</p><p>Lena picked up a laptop and a cable and gently walked across the room, joining Alex. Lena didn’t want to disturb the others who had seemingly already fallen asleep. Both women walked to the staircase in silence. There was nothing to be said.It wasn’t until Lena had set up the computer to do the data transfer that Alex started talking.</p><p>“How’s it going,” Alex said as she looked out towards the skyline of Central City.</p><p>It wasn’t a simple question despite its appearance saying otherwise. They hadn’t talked since Kara’s funeral and there was a lot to be said.</p><p>“In what sense?” Lena simply responded.</p><p>“What’s it like seeing all of her friends?”</p><p>“It’s overwhelming,” Lena paused, looking up at Alex and then following her eye-line out onto the city, “but it’s nice.”</p><p>Despite how much Alex had prepared herself for this conversation, it still felt unnatural. There was so much she wanted to say but she knew she couldn’t. She blamed Lena for having lost her sister but at the same time she blamed herself. She should have been there for Kara. The days leading up to Kara’s death, Alex saw just how hurt her sister was. Her sister was devastated. Seeing Kara like that made her want to yell at Lena. After Kara died, she wanted to do more than just yell. Alex was so close to confronting Lena when she saw her at the funeral, but she stopped herself. After everyone had gone inside after the ceremony, she saw Lena standing next to Kara’s empty pod as she cried. Lena was in a lot of pain. Part of Alex wished the pain would go on forever but another part of her knew that Kara wouldn’t want this. Alex vowed to herself that she’d try to be there for Lena, despite the way she felt. As more time passed, her anger faded and most of what she felt for Lena was pity. She knew how much Kara meant to Lena and she pitied her because she didn’t have anyone to help her through her loss. </p><p>“All done,” Lena said, snapping Alex out of her thoughts. </p><p>“Lena,” Alex called out, causing Lena to stop halfway towards the staircase and turn around, “I think we should spend the night on this earth in case anything happens.”</p><p>“You want me to stay?” Lena asked in shock.</p><p>“Yeah. I mean, you’ve already helped the team a lot and we still need your help with the Black-Body Field generator so might as well stay.”</p><p>“But I don’t have a change of clothes or a place to stay.”</p><p>“We can go back quickly and get some things for us to wear. And this facility has some sleep rooms we could use,” Alex said as they walked towards the stairwell.</p><p>________</p><p>It was around 7 o’clock the next morning when Lena decided to sit in front of the console and wait for the satellite to receive a signal. She had been sitting there for nearly two hours when the others started joining her.</p><p>“Good morning,” Felicity greeted Lena with a smile.</p><p>“Good morning,” Lena responded, barely looking away from her notes. She had kept herself busy while waiting by working on one of her many projects from LCorp.</p><p>“How long have you been up?” Winn asked with a yawn.</p><p>“For two hours?” Lena looked up, reading the time on the clock behind them on the wall.</p><p>“Damn girl, you take work very seriously,” Cisco said, sitting next to her on a chair.</p><p>“Well, I am a Luthor after all,” Lena thought out loud while typing furiously on her tablet. </p><p>“Whatcha working on?” Felicity walked up behind her excitedly.</p><p>“Seriously Felicity. Give her a break,” Oliver said jokingly as he walked by her and gave her a kiss on her cheek.</p><p>“No, it’s alright,” Lena smiled, “I’m working on the schematics of a device that will allow scientists and doctors to map alien biology in a shorter amount of time than an MRI would. This device would be able to scan their anatomy, regardless how small or large they are. It’s meant to be a portable device. This way, aliens that aren’t comfortable in hospitals can still get medical attention.”</p><p>“Wow. A genius and a saint,” Kate said as her, Alex, Sara and Ava joined her. Lena smiled gently, trying to hide her confused expression.</p><p>“I see it too,” Ava said to Sara this time. Now Lena was very confused. </p><p>“Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but, what do you mean ‘you see it’?” Lena hoped that her tone was neutral. But if they had anything to say about her, she wanted to hear it directly from them. She braced herself, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it never did.</p><p>“I can see why Kara liked you so much.”</p><p>That was not what she had expected. Lena had been caught so off guard that she forgot to hide her confusion.</p><p>“The last time we spoke with Kara, she wouldn’t stop talking about how amazing you were. I have to admit, I didn’t really like you at first but I trust Kara. She has a really good sense when someone is good at heart. All she’s saying is that she can see what Kara saw in you,” Kate explained.</p><p>Before Lena could come up with a response, Barry and Iris suddenly appeared with a lot of bags in their hands.</p><p>“Who wants breakfast?” Barry asked excitedly.</p><p>Lena was grateful for the change in topic. She had felt everyone's eyes on her throughout the entire interaction and it made her uncomfortable. How could she be left so speechless? She dealt with misogynistic white men almost on a daily basis. But one day with Kara’s friends and she can no longer come up with a response.</p><p>As everyone was eating breakfast, all Lena could think about was what Kate had said about Kara. She remembers that Kara had told her many times that she believed in her. Kara believed Lena was good, even when Lena didn’t. Being surrounded by Kara’s friends and wanting to help them catch the thieves made Lena believe that maybe she was good. She just couldn’t believe that she had to realize this after Kara had died. Lena wanted to tell Kara that she finally sees it in herself, even if it <em> is </em> just a glimpse. But she couldn’t tell her, because Kara was gone.</p><p>___</p><p>They had been waiting around all day for something to happen. Most of them kept themselves busy with small talk and board games. While others kept themselves occupied with work. Everything was rather quiet and peaceful until the satellite was set off.</p><p>“We’ve got something in downtown central city. Oliver and Barry suit up. Caitlin and Cisco on stand by. Kate and Sara, take the roof and keep a lookout,” Iris ordered, “Alex, you and Ava cover the entrance. You’re back up.”</p><p>“Yes ma’am,” Kate said jokingly which caused Iris to smile back. </p><p>The team had made their way to the lab where the element had been stored. By the time they arrived, the main entrance was blown in. The Flash and The Green Arrow made their way inside, making sure to look around the corners for any criminals. As they walked in, they realized that not only the entrance was blown in, but there was a clear path through the building that led directly to the lab. </p><p>“Guys, they have some pretty dangerous tech. They blew a hole right through the building,” The flash said into his comms.</p><p>Both Winn and Lena, who had been listening in, looked at each other. “Iris, do you have a van?” Winn asked and Iris nodded. He looked back at Lena, “You get the generator, I’ll drive.” </p><p>Lena immediately got up and reached for the generator and started to check if all the cables had been plugged in correctly. </p><p>“What’s going on? Oh my god, is that a Black Body Field generator?” Felicity asked excitedly.</p><p>“Yes, and we need to get it there immediately if we want a chance at stopping them. This will deactivate their weapons,” Lena replied as she picked up the generator and walked out of the room, following Winn.</p><p>Iris, who had been listening in, turned on the comms and spoke, “guys, Lena and Winn are coming with a generator that will shut down their tech. Be careful and avoid engaging until they arrive.” </p><p>As soon as Iris was done, Cisco pressed a few buttons and connected to the van that Winn was driving. “I’m sending the location to your GPS right now. Hurry. Also, there are some tools in the back in case you need to adjust or fix your tech Lena.”</p><p>“Thanks Cisco,” Lena responded. She could feel her heart racing in anticipation. She remembered the night her mother decided to launch the medusa virus. She remembered the exhilarating feeling of being part of the action, even without being the one throwing the punches.</p><p>Her and Winn arrived and parked the van in an alleyway nearby. Lena immediately got to work. She stepped into the back of the van as Winn joined her and started pressing some buttons to match the frequency of the weapons. </p><p>“Iris, I need them to use the weapons so I can match the frequency and then counteract that,” Lena spoke into the van’s comm system.</p><p>“Alright, Flash, show’em what you’ve got. We need them to use the weapons so Lena can activate the device.”</p><p>“You got it,” The Flash responded. </p><p>The Flash and the Arrow started to cause some havoc, making sure that all of the weapons were fired once, when suddenly one of the weapons caused both of them to be launched out of the building. Batwoman immediately joined them, getting the Arrow out of the way before the gunmen could fire another shot. </p><p>“Any time now Lena,” Kate said in a hurry.</p><p>“Almost,” Lena responded. She twisted a few screws and then pressed the final button which activated a pulse that deactivated the weapons. The Flash sped to the criminals and disarmed the ones with the big weapons before retreating.</p><p>“Not so big and bad now?” Sara said with a smirk and walked up next to Ava and Alex who had also joined the others. </p><p>They had disarmed them and now they had nowhere to run. Yet, the criminals didn’t seem fazed. </p><p>“You really thought we wouldn’t bring backup,” one of them, who appears to be the leader, said. </p><p>Suddenly portals opened around them and three large aliens jumped out. The aliens were about 7 feet tall and looked similar to white martians. The only difference was that they had a larger build and they couldn’t shift to humanoid form. </p><p>Immediately these aliens attacked them. The arrow and the Flash were fighting one alien, Sara, Ava and Batwoman were fighting another one. Vibe and Killer Frost had joined them and took on the third alien. Everyone was so occupied trying to fight the aliens that they lost track of the group of criminals.</p><p>Suddenly Lena and Winn felt the van shake.</p><p>“Fuck. Guys, we have a problem,” Lena said into the comms. </p><p>“We have three heat signatures surrounding the van. Guys, a little help here,” Felicity spoke as she typed away onto the console. </p><p>“We’re a little busy Felicity,” Oliver said in between punches.</p><p>Before Iris could give Lena and Winn any orders, the back door of the van flew open and a man grabbed Lena, dragging her out onto the concrete. He immediately picked her up and held her in a choke hold.</p><p>“Lena,” Winn yelled as he struggled against another man holding him back. </p><p>“Where is she?” the man holding Lena asked, tightening his grip on her neck.</p><p>“Who are you talking about,” Lena asked, attempting to loosen his grip on her.</p><p>“Supergirl. Where is she?” he asked, once again tightening his grip.</p><p>“She’s dead,” Lena simply said in defeat. </p><p>“You really don’t know,” He said looking at the other criminals, “We’re just going to have to use you to lure her out.” The man started pulling Lena into the middle of the road. As he stopped, he pulled out a knife and held it to her throat. “Let’s see if she can make it before you die.”</p><p>“Lena, no,” Alex yelled as she continued to shoot her blaster at the aliens.</p><p>The man started dragging the knife along Lena’s neck barely cutting her skin, when suddenly a blue beam was shot passed her head and hit him square in the face. He let go of Lena, pulling his hands to his head in pain. A quick gush of wind passed Lena. She quickly turned around and saw someone with blonde, wavy hair holding the man by his throat with his legs dangling in the air. Kara?</p><p>“Stay away from her.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Cliffhanger.... I'm sorry. I had to. The chapter was getting too long but also I wanted to keep things interesting.<br/>Please don't hate me :)</p><p>See you next time my dudes,<br/>-M</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Beauty of Silence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>a continuation of what happened last chapter.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter has around 1700 words. Hope you guys like it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Stay away from her,” the blonde said harshly.</p><p>The man, held by her deadly grip, simply laughed. He then looked the super dead in the eye and said, “he was right. He knew you’d come. He knew you’d save her. And now…” he paused, “you can’t hide from your demons anymore.” </p><p>Despite him having whispered the last part, Kara heard him loud and clear. She was furious and she felt her anger boil within her. She immediately brought her arm closer into her body so her and the man were face to face. Before Kara could respond to his statement, the man pulled out a kryptonite blade and stabbed Kara in her abdomen. </p><p>“NO!” Lena yelled as Kara dropped him, the blade still in her. She wanted to run to Kara to help her but was held back by another one of the criminals. </p><p>The others had been too busy still fighting the other aliens that they couldn’t help her as crouched down in pain. She held her stomach as she tried to fight the pain of the kryptonite poisoning along with the pain of being stabbed. She tried to focus on the man and what he was saying but her vision was blurry and all she could hear was her heartbeat in her ears.</p><p>“You are worthless,” he laughed as he crouched next to Kara who was now struggling to stay conscious, “you won’t be able to protect her. No matter how hard you try.”</p><p>He smiled at Kara smugly and came closer to her so he could whisper in her ear, “have fun dying for real this time.” </p><p>Lena felt helpless. All she could do was struggle against this man and cry out in pain. She couldn’t tell if it was physical or emotional, all she knew is that it was the worst pain she’d ever felt. This was the person she had so longingly wished would show up one day so she could fix things between them. The person she missed so much that she could no longer sleep at night. The person she cried for. She had her back. But now, she had to helplessly watch as she died in front of her once again. She watched as the man crouched down to mock her. </p><p>Kara was furious. She was so angry that there were no words that could remotely begin to explain how she felt. She was tired of having to hide her feelings. She was tired of having to hide who she was. So when she heard that asshole say those last words, she lost it. She punched him so hard, he flew about 20 meters back from where he was crouching next to her. She could feel his bones break as her fist met his rib cage. As soon as his body hit the ground, she got up, turned facing Lena and punched the man behind her. She quickly X-rayed Lena to make sure she was okay and then proceeded to pull the blade out of her. She didn’t cry out in pain. She simply took the blade into her hands and made her way to the aliens. First, she took the blade in her hang and stabbed the alien in its leg. Then she punched and immediately picked up the other alien and slammed it onto the ground. At this point Kara wasn’t holding back her rage as she furiously punched the two of them. She hit their heads together, knocking them both out. Finally, she attacked the last alien by using her heat vision and screaming as she let out more of her anger. </p><p>The last alien fell to the ground. Kara stood there and panted as she took in the scene before her. She suddenly felt a sharp pain in her stomach and immediately moved her hands there.</p><p>“Kara? Oh my god Kara. Is that you?” Alex yelled out excitedly, “oh no, you’re hurt.” Alex moved closer, placing her hand on Kara’s shoulder. But Kara moved away. She was in so much pain that she barely registered Lena at her other side before she blacked out.</p><p>___</p><p>Lena was watching through the glass as Alex tried to talk to Kara. Alex tried but Kara simply looked past her, her eyes lost in the space around them. Eventually Alex stormed out at the verge of tears. She couldn’t understand why Kara was doing this? Lena had been watching her all night and couldn’t figure out how to get through to Kara. She had never seen this side of her but a part of Lena knew that it was always there. Seeing Kara like that, having lost all hope, had reminded her of herself. </p><p>At the beginning of her and Kara’s friendship Kara had always been there for her, even when she wasn’t ready to open up yet. She remembered how she felt after her mother and brother had worked together to wreak havoc on the world again. She remembered how Kara just sat next to her in silence. Kara hadn’t pressed for details and it wasn’t until a few weeks later that Lena opened up to her. </p><p>Lena decided she was going to do the same for her, so she went and grabbed her book, picked up a chair and cautiously walked into the room Kara was laying in. She set down the chair and started reading. She was grateful that everyone had given them space even though they were all concerned about her. After Caitlin had stitched her up and she still hadn’t spoken, everyone understood that Kara needed to be alone. Lena wanted Kara to be comfortable but she also wanted the kryptonian to know that she wasn’t alone. So Lena just sat there and read one of her 1800’s romance novels that Kara used to tease her for.</p><p>
  <em> [ “How can someone who spends most of their time alone in a lab, love romance novels so much,” Kara said smiling at Lena as they sat on her couch. It was the morning after Kara had stayed over for movie night. She had been too exhausted by the time they were done that, without a second thought, Lena asked Kara whether she wanted to stay over. That was the first time they had spent the night. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Stop making fun of me,” Lena responded, blushing slightly in embarrassment. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I think it’s adorable,” Kara simply stated. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lena didn’t respond but smiled widely as she looked away gently, flashing her dimples towards Kara. ] </em>
</p><p>Kara remembered that day. Lena was so peaceful and cozy and warm. She had never seen anything like it. She remembers the easy Lena’s heart jumped at her compliment. She remembers those dimples and that gentle smile. She remembered the way Lena always smelled like a hint of lavender. Even then, as she was lying under the sunlamps, she smelled a gentle wave of lavender flow in her direction. She watched as Lena read her book and hummed. Kara loved it when Lena hummed as she read. She found it truly adorable that a tough CEO, who could terrify anyone with a look, had moments where she was soft and cozy. Kara has only ever seen Lena that comfortable around her. </p><p>A part of her took pride in that realization but her heart clenched at the fact that things were never going to get back to the way they were. Kara didn’t know whether she eve wanted them to go back. Before she disappeared she felt trapped. She loved her friends and she loved Alex and Eliza but she felt trapped. But Kara also missed things like working at CatCo or having lunch with Lena everyday. She missed sister nights with Alex. She missed game nights where everyone she knew was happy and laughing together. She missed the lightheartedness. What she didn’t miss was the weight that came with it. After that Alien blew up, Kara was trapped in a pocket in space all alone for nine and a half months. When she had managed to repair the ship enough for her to escape the pocket and she was back in earth’s orbit, she didn’t want to go back. A lot of things happened to her while she was gone, and going back meant that she would have to hide who she had become in order to be who everyone had expected her to be. Kara wasn’t ready for that. When the group of criminals had led Alex, Lena and Winn to earth one, Kara followed them just in case anything happened but she didn’t plan on interacting with them. She just wanted to protect them from afar and she told herself that was for the best. When Lena’s life was in danger, everything she had thought or told herself, flew out the window. She immediately flew down to save Lena and it didn’t matter that now she had to face her demons. It didn’t matter because it was Lena and Lena meant the world to her.</p><p>Part of her regretted coming back after not being able to speak to Kara. But another part of her accepted that maybe she was ready to try and fix herself back up. She just didn’t know how to tell anyone, especially Alex. </p><p>Kara noticed Lena looking at her. It was a soft gaze, one that was observing not demanding. Lena then got up and walked over to the desk and picked up a pen. She then wrote some things onto her bookmark and set her book, along with the pen and the bookmark on the table next to Kara. </p><p>“I’m going to go get us something to eat, I’ll be right back,” Lena said as she walked out the room.</p><p>Kara picked up the book and pulled out the bookmark, making sure not to loose the page Lena was on.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m here if you need me.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Just let me know when you’re ready to talk. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Lena returned with a plate full of pot-stickers for Kara and salad for herself, Kara smiled gently. Lena handed her the plate, picked up her book and sat back down on her chair. Before she ate, she opened the book and saw Kara’s response.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I'm not ready to talk yet, but thank you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> :) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lena smiled at Kara gently as they started eating in silence.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wanted to write Kara as someone who finally showed the true weight that she carried on her shoulders. Now, I wanted to edit the tags and change them according to this chapter but I'm still learning how these tags work. Anyone have any recommendations on what tags I can add?</p><p>see you next time my dudes,<br/>-M</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Challenges of Accepting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lena has a chat with the team and Alex talks to Kara.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a short chapter but I thought it was important for character development. (I swear, I'm not a pro)<br/>This chapter has 1450 words, give or take. </p><p>Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was 5:30 in the morning when Lena decided to give up on trying to sleep. She was still shaken from the previous day’s events and couldn’t seem to relax. After debating whether she should read or work, she decided on having a shower and checking on Kara. </p><p>She got out of the shower and slipped on a blouse, some dress pants and heals. She put her hair up in a professional bun and made her way to the med bay. On her way she bumped into Alex. She suspected that Alex was returning from checking on Kara.</p><p>“Good morning,” Lena said.</p><p>“Good morning.” Alex sounded grumpy.</p><p>“Couldn’t get much sleep?” Lena asked, already knowing her answer.</p><p>“No,” Alex sighed and then paused. “Does she know how long it has been? She wouldn't even let me hug her yesterday,” Alex huffed frustratedly. </p><p>Lena understood why Alex felt this way. She wanted her sister back. But Lena knew that rushing Kara was just going to make everything worse.</p><p>“Just give her some time. We don’t know what she’s been through so we shouldn’t rush her.”</p><p>“How do you know what’s best for her?” Alex snapped, “how do you know what she needs right now. I am her sister and she won't talk to me. You sit with her for two goddamn seconds and she trusts you enough to tell you what she needs? You don’t know what she needs.”</p><p>Alex was in pain. Lena could see that. So she waited for Alex to finish. </p><p>“You don’t understand Lena. I spent my entire life being there for her and supporting her. I saved her ass so many times. I am her sister,” Alex steps closer to Lena with an angry expression on her face, “So you don’t get to tell me what to do.”</p><p><em> “Don’t you see? She’s hurting. She doesn’t need you to magically fix her problems for her. She needs you to stand by her side until she’s ready to open up. Instead you make this all about you,” </em> Lena wanted to say, but she chose not to. She didn’t think Alex would listen. </p><p>Before Lena could come up with another response, Alex stormed away. </p><p>Lena walked into the cortex, watching Kara from afar. Kara’s heart rate appeared to be normal for a kryptonian and she was breathing at a steady rate. Lena watched as Kara slept and noticed how most of the tension was gone from her body. Under normal circumstances, watching someone sleep would be creepy, but Lena couldn’t help herself. She still had a hard time believing Kara was really back. She remembers the clear image of the kryptonian speeding past her. She remembers watching as the blonde held the man up in the air. She remembers the way the muscles of her back were highlighted in her new suit. Kara’s suit had been white with black stripes following the curve of her body. It didn’t have a cape but it had specks of gold on the shoulder where the suit ended and her neck started. Lena wondered if Kara had chosen those colors deliberately. Maybe it was to symbolize the way Kara felt. Black, white and gold weren’t colors of hope but of ferocity and intensity. Black and white weren't colors at all. Maybe Kara’s new suit symbolized the lack of home and the presence of darkness.</p><p>With that thought, Lena’s eyes went back towards Kara’s. Lena knew Kara wasn’t all smiles and giggles. There were moments when they’d spent time together where Kara’s darkness, for a split second, shone through. It was like she spent less effort trying to hide that part of her when she was with Lena. Kara needed time to heal and Lena would help her get it no matter what. If helping Kara meant putting up with an angry, frustrated Alex all the time, then so be it. </p><p>Lena was slightly shocked by how protective she felt over Kara but didn’t put too much thought into it. Regardless, she was determined to help Kara through this no matter what.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Lena made her way into the training room where Barry was running in circles. Ava, Sara, Kate and Oliver were sparring in the middle of the room. Caitlin, Winn and Cisco were working on their computers and Iris and Felicity were discussing something. Everyone was there except for Alex, which was good. She needed time to think and being surrounded by everyone wouldn’t do any good. </p><p>Kate stepped aside, grabbed a water bottle and drank before approaching Lena. </p><p>“How is she?” Kate asked. </p><p>As if on queue, everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to listen in. Lena felt slightly nervous but didn’t flinch. She took in a breath and spoke.</p><p>“She is doing okay health-wise. I think she is fully healed but she’s sleeping.” Everyone looked at Lena expectantly. “I think she might have been through something which is why I need to ask you guys to not talk about it.”</p><p>“You want us to pretend like she wasn’t gone for a year,” Kate looked at Lena like she was stupid.</p><p>“No,” Lena sighed, “I should probably rephrase that.” Lena thought for a moment. “I know Kara. If you force her to talk about it, she’ll shut down. She’ll push everyone away until she’s truly as alone as she feels. All I’m asking is that you let her be the one to bring it up.”</p><p>Lena looked around, waiting for a response, when her eyes landed on Sara and Ava. They were looking at each other as if they knew something. Lena suspected it had to do with the last time they whispered about her but let that thought go. It wasn’t the right time to think about something like that. Right now she needed to focus on Kara. </p><p>“Alright. We can do that,” Kate says, breaking the silence.</p><p>“Anyone hungry?” Barry asked. Everyone responded with a yes. </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Later that morning, Alex was quietly taking Kara’s vitals and making sure she had fully healed. She tapped a few buttons on her tablet and then turned off the sunlamps.</p><p>“You’re good to go. Your abdomen is fully healed.”</p><p>Kara had been awake by that time and sat up and started taking off the cables that connected her to the heart rate monitor. Alex handed her a sweater and Kara took it, putting it on over her tank-top. She still hadn’t spoken a word, although she wanted to. After seeing Alex’s pained expression from the previous night she wanted to tell her that she was back and that she wasn’t leaving anytime soon. But she also wanted to tell Alex that she was not ready to talk about what happened. Kara wasn’t ready to face what happened over the past year, let alone talk about it. But she knew that once she started talking, the questions would hit her like a machine gun firing at her rapid-fire. She wasn’t ready.</p><p>Alex briefly remembered her conversation with Lena earlier. Lena had told her to give Kara time and space. She had told her to be patient. But how could she understand? She didn’t just have her sister die to only come back a year later and almost be stabbed to death. Lena didn’t- no, couldn’t understand what Alex was going through. So she yelled at her. But standing in front of Kara and watching as she took the sweater and zipped it on, had made Alex question whether shutting Lena down so quickly was a good idea. Something had changed in Kara. The way she carried herself was different. It was similar to the way she carried herself when she had just joined her family. Then it clicked. Lena was right. Kara wasn’t ready.</p><p>“Look,” Alex took in a deep breath and put down the tablet, “I don’t know what you’ve been through and I’m not going to begin to assume. But you need to talk to me eventually. I’m not going to push you and when you’re ready we can talk”</p><p>“Thank you,” Kara responded hesitantly, “I just need some time.”</p><p>Having Kara respond to her, made Alex’s heart soar. It made her believe that maybe everything could go back to normal.</p><p>“I’m always here if you need me,” Alex said, stretching her arms out as if asking for permission to hug her. Kara nodded and immediately Alex hugged her sister. For the first time in a year, they had hugged and Kara couldn’t believe it. </p><p>They stood there for a while longer until the rest of the team trickled into the cortex laughing and talking with one another. Kara started to feel her heart warm with a feeling she hadn’t felt in a while. She felt hopeful.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I re-watched season 3 episode 6 thinking it was going to help me write this chapter but it made me feel like I'me letting people down because I can't get myself to watch season 5. </p><p>Anyways, thank you for reading.</p><p>'Till next time my dudes.<br/>-M</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Sister Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alex and Kara talk some more.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter has about 1500 words. Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you maybe want to have a sister night tonight?” Kara asked Alex.</p><p>They had returned back to the DEO the day before and had spent most of their time running tests to make sure Kara was healthy. Alex had been working non-stop and had only gone home after J’onn had told her <em> “you’re the director now. You can’t direct if you’re half asleep on the job.” </em> </p><p>Alex had made herself promise to give Kara space and let her decide when she was ready to talk or see the rest of her friends. But when Kara asked about ‘sister night’, Alex was in shock.</p><p>“Earth to Alex,” Kara said, waving her hand in front of her sister's face.</p><p>“Yeah sure. Of course. Yes. Are you sure?” Alex looked at Kara concerned.</p><p>“Yes I’m sure. I haven’t gone home yet and it’s been a while,” Kara sighed, “I’m not ready to talk yet but I want to know about what happened while I was gone.”</p><p>“Of course,” Alex smiled, “I’m just doing final check ups and then we can go.”</p><p>Kara was nervous. She missed her sister so much but it had been a year. Kara had never been away from her that long since the moment she was welcomed into the Danvers’ home. Alex was her home. Kara had been gone for so long that she was afraid that she missed important events. This made her nervous, because usually she was involved in her friends' lives. But after being gone for a year, things might’ve changed. What if they didn’t need her anymore? Kara couldn’t tell whether that was a good or bad thing.</p><p>“Do you want pot-stickers or pizza?”</p><p>“Pizza. I had pot-stickers two days ago and I miss pizza.”</p><p>“Pizza it is.” Alex pulled out her phone and ordered.</p><p>____</p><p>Alex and Kara stood in front of her apartment door. Alex handed her the key and she unlocked the door. Her hands were shaking slightly as she hesitated about opening the door. Why couldn’t she just go in. It was her home. She lived there for so long, yet she couldn’t seem to find the courage to do so. She looked back at Alex who was giving her a kind, soft and patient expression. Patience wasn’t her thing, so knowing Alex was waiting for her made Kara feel safer. Alex was there for her.</p><p>Kara pushed the door open and was greeted with her apartment in tip top shape. It was as if she had never left. </p><p>“I passed by your place with Kelly before coming to the DEO. She suggested cleaning up your place to make you feel more comfortable when you came back. I had to leave so she ended up doing most of the work,” Alex said as she watched Kara take in her apartment. Then Kara turned around and Alex felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. What if Kara felt different now and she didn’t want this. Did I mess up? You really fucked up Danvers. This was your one chance and you fucked up. Fix it. “Your stuff was packed into boxes but it was still here in the apartment. All we really did was unpack and clean away the dust. We can move things around if that’s what you want. I’m-”</p><p>Alex was cut off by Kara giving her a tight hug as she started crying. Kara was crying. Were they good tears? Bad tears?</p><p>“Thank you,” Kara said, still hugging Alex. With that, Alex pulled her in closer.</p><p>The doorbell rang and she pulled away from Kara to pay for the pizza. It wasn’t until they sat on the couch that she realized she was crying. The last time she had hugged Kara like that was the day she disappeared. It felt like a goodbye hug. As if to reassure herself that Kara was really back, she reached out for Kara for one more quick hug. </p><hr/><p>“They did not break up,” Kara said in disbelief.</p><p>“Yep. they had to. That was the only way to keep the show interesting,” Alex said, picking up her scotch.</p><p>“What’s up with you? How are you and Kelly?”</p><p>“We’re doing good,” Alex cleared her throat, “when you were gone, she helped me cope. She stayed by my side. And I tried being there for her too because she saw you as family. It was tough and we had some bumps but it worked out.”</p><p>“I’m glad it was okay between you too. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if you guys broke up because of me,” Kara laughed softly.</p><p>“Where were you? After the explosion,” Alex blurted out. Shit. She just said that. Of course, leave it up to Alex to get drunk and mess things up. </p><p>“Alex it’s okay. Stop beating yourself up,” Kara took in a deep breath. Alex’s eyes were following her own as she waited for Kara to continue. “I don’t know where I went. One second I was flying up into space as fast as I could to get the alien away from everyone. Before I knew it, I was in the middle of nowhere just floating in space.”</p><p>She was so alone. It was lonelier than she had ever felt. To be drifting in space, away from home without the walls of the pod protecting her. It felt truly lonely. When Kara couldn’t recognize her surroundings she was sure she was dead. All she saw was darkness that was lit up softly by stars far, far away. </p><p>“I managed to find a ship and get back to earth’s atmosphere.”</p><p>Alex knew from the way Kara had said it that she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Kara had lost so much. She lost her parents, her family and her home. She was stuck in a pod for 24 years. Then, she was launched into space and was stuck out there again for another year, all alone. The universe was cruel. How could it be so cruel to the one person that would give up everything to save it. Alex could feel anger brewing within her because her sister was hurt. She was hurt and Alex couldn’t seem to help.</p><p>“Hey, I don’t want to be rude or anything but could you maybe… um-”</p><p>“You want some alone time?” Alex paused for a second. She meant to say it in a kind and comforting way but when she heard what she had said, she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. “Not like that.”</p><p>“Alex,” Kara said laughing. Oh how Alex missed that laugh. She immediately forgot about her embarrassment and soaked in the smile on her sister’s face before she spoke. Alex smiled brighter than she had in months.</p><p>“I’ll ask Kelly to pick me up. I know you need some space. But please, if there is anything, call me or come to my apartment. Or go to J’onn or Lena or anyone. Please don’t shut us out,” Alex said, her hand resting on Kara’s cheek. </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Alex kissed the top of Kara’s head and pulled her in for a hug. They stayed like that until Kelly came to pick her up.</p><hr/><p>That night, Kara laid in her bed, not able to sleep. She decided to give up on trying. She put on her furry house slippers, a night-robe and flew out the window to sit on the roof of her building. Her building was short enough that she wouldn’t call attention to herself but tall enough that she could see the city-line. On the roof there was a small garden with a bench. The garden was filled with flowers and vegetable plants. Kara sat on the bench and looked out onto the city. </p><p>Despite buzzing with the sound of cars running and people yelling, crying and laughing in their apartments, it was peaceful. National City was always peaceful at night. (Unless there was an alien attack) Kara closed her eyes and started to tune in to different sounds. A car, a squirrel in a tree, a child giggling, radio. Then her ears tuned in to a distinct heartbeat. It was Lena’s. Kara knew her heartbeat as if it were her own. She listened to it and followed the sound, turning her head in the direction of it. It came from LCorp. Lena was probably still working, like she always did when she was stressed out. Kara listened to the heartbeat more carefully. It was steady and slow, but not slow enough for her to be sleeping. Lena was deep in thought. </p><p>At first Kara thought that listening in to her heartbeat was outright creepy. But after many failed attempts to tune it out, she stopped trying to un hear it. Lena’s heartbeat grounded her. Whenever Kara felt anxious, afraid, angry or even stressed, Lena’s heartbeat would always calm her down. </p><p>Kara felt a sudden need to tell Lena exactly what happened. She wanted to tell Lena how she felt before she disappeared. She wanted to tell Lena how she felt now, despite not knowing how she felt about anything. Kara knew that she had to tell Lena. </p><p>Kara floated back into her apartment and picked up the phone she had left on the coffee table.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hey. I know you’re probably busy but do you maybe want to hang out tomorrow? We can get lunch like we used to.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Kara waited a moment and was about to set her phone down again when she got a response.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Of course. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I've been thinking about different ways I can continue the story. I don't plan on making it too long but if you want the story to continue after I'm done, let me know. Maybe I can write a follow up fic that's one chapter long. </p><p>Comment what you think about this chapter and let me know if you'd like me to consider adding something.</p><p>'Till next time my dudes<br/>-M</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Overwhelming Panic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kara and Lena talk but it's difficult when things don't go quite as planned.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one's a bit angsty and has about 1700 words.<br/>Enjoy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>By the time Lena had arrived at Noonas, Kara had already been sitting inside waiting for her. As Lena walked towards the coffee shot, Kara couldn’t help but smile in Lena’s direction. Kara was nervous before arriving. But as soon as she saw Lena smile at her, most of her nervousness dissipated. Kara listened to Lena’s heartbeat and took a deep breath, grounding herself and calming herself down from the noise around her. After being alone for so long, the noise was overwhelming. But listening to Lena’s heartbeat, as she came closer, calmed her down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena sat down in front of Kara and smiled gently. Lena was wearing a navy blue suit and slightly brighter blue shirt underneath. Her hair was up in a high ponytail and all Kara could think was that Lena was gorgeous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi. How are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m great. Actually…” Kara hesitated, “I’m getting there. But I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look good. I’m not going to lie, I really missed you in cardigans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That earned a small chuckle from Kara who was now blushing as she smiled. Lena couldn’t believe they were actually sitting in front of each other, let alone talking to one another. Before Kara disappeared they hadn’t been on talking terms. After Kara came back, she hadn’t been ready to talk. So hearing Kara’s voice made Lena’s heart skip a beat and she was sure the kryptonian could hear it do so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want anything to drink? Coffee? Tea?” Lena was slightly nervous. What do you say to someone who died and came back to life a year later?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No thank you. Maybe a croissant.” Kara smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. I’ll be right back.” Lena got up to order. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena could tell Kara was nervous by the way she kept fixing her glasses. Watching Kara fidget nervously made Lena want to hug her and hold her close and tell her everything will be okay. That thought scared Lena a bit because she had never really felt like that about anyone before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena returned with the croissant and her cup of coffee. She sat down and smiled at Kara.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look beautiful today, Lena.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena blushed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should look in the mirror,” Lena smirked from behind her coffee cup. Even after all this time, it was still easy to make Kara blush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of a sudden, one of the coffee shop workers drops a tray of glasses onto the ground.The sound was overwhelming for Kara. She jumped in her seat and squeezed her eyes shut. She gripped the side of the table and lowered her head, trying to focus on any sound that wasn’t the glass clinking together as the barista cleaned it up. The sound is overwhelming to the point where they started to bleed into each other, creating a horrible sounding jumble of chaos in her ears. She tried to catch her breath and then realized she was panting. Everything was so loud and so bright. Everything from sound, to sight to touch was overwhelming Kara.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt Lena gently rubbing circles on her hand that was tightly wrapped around the edge of the table. She focused on that. The sensation of Lena’s skin on hers. She then tried to find her heartbeat while focusing on the finger on her hand. She could feel the pulse before she could hear it. Kara opened her eyes and looked at Lena who was saying something. Kara looked into those green eyes and let them ground her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to go to my penthouse? Get away from all the noise?” Kara heard Lena say. Kara nodded in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Let’s go,” Lena held out her hand and Kara took it, letting Lena lead the way out of the coffee shop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they were outside, Lena stopped and looked at Kara. She studied her expression. Kara was still disoriented from what had just happened but it wasn’t as bad anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to pick something up from LCorp. Can we pass by my office and then go to my penthouse?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Lena,” Kara looked down, “I don’t want you to miss work because of something so silly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That wasn’t something silly, Kara. You had a panic attack. And I want to help you,” Lena moved closer to Kara, their hands still together, “please let me help you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara simply nodded and they made their way to LCorp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>___</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the way there, Kara hadn’t spoken. She was still overwhelmed from the coffee shop while at the same time processing the fact that Lena held her hand all the way there. Even at LCorp. Lena only let go once they were in her office because she had to pack up her laptop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for earlier. I haven’t had a panic attack like that since I first came to earth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kara, darling. You don’t have to explain. I understand. But when you’re ready to talk about it, we can,” Lena smiled while internally cursing herself for the pet name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara weakly smiled back at her, which sent a wave of unease through Lena’s heart. Kara was hurting and Lena couldn’t help her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena put her laptop into her large purse and made her way to her office door, leading the way out. She quickly told Jess that she was going home for the rest of the day and was only to be sent important emails and calls. Then her and Kara walked over to the elevator. They waited in silence. It wasn’t unpleasant or awkward. It was simply quiet. Lena was glad as it gave her a moment to process what had happened and form a plan on how to approach helping Kara. Lena was determined to help her. Maybe Lena should contact a therapist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The elevator door opened and the both went in, standing about a foot apart. Lena could see Kara’s crinkle which meant she was deep in though. She saw how the kryptonian’s posture was slightly slouched but it wasn’t as tense as it had been earlier. As the elevator went down more and more people entered. Slowly, Kara was pushed towards Lena. They still had space between them but as more people came on, that space decreased. Lena looked over at Kara again and noticed how her posture was stiff. Lena watched and saw Kara’s chest rise and fall at a fast pace. Was Kara panicking again? Lena leaned forward to try and see Kara’s expression. Her eyes had been shut again. Out of instinct, Lena reached for Kara’s hand which had tightly formed a fist. Lena opened Kara’s fist and slowly thread her fingers through Kara’s. She could feel Kara closer her hand around Lena’s and a little bit of the tension left her body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as they had reached the ground floor, Lena tightened her grip around Kara’s hand and guided the kryptonian out of the building. When they were outside, Lena pulled Kara into the nearby alleyway, getting her away from the crowd that was walking their way. She turned facing Kara and tried to study the panicked expression on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what you need,” Lena whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara then brought her other hand up to Lena’s chest and hesitated for a moment before resting it on Lena. Lena was confused for a moment when she saw Kara’s eyes close again. She was listening to her heartbeat. Lena immediately tried to slow her breathing as much as she could to bring her heart rate down. They stayed there for what felt like an eternity until Kara had caught her breath. She looked up at Lena, her eyes at the verge of tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Lena. I shouldn’t have-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena cut Kara off by pulling her into a hug. Lena held her tightly as Kara quietly cried into her shoulder. Lena waited a moment before asking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to go to my apartment or yours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. When you’re ready, can you fly us there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara nodded and lifted them quickly into the sky, making sure not to be seen. Shortly after, they landed on Lena’s balcony while still hugging. Lena pulled back and wiped some of the tears off of Kara's cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go inside and I’ll bring you my MIT hoodie and some sweats to change into.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>___</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena had also changed into a hoodie and leggings and had made herself some coffee. She also made Kara hot coco as a comfort drink. Lena had taken off her contacts and was wearing her glasses as they sat on opposite ends of the couch. They had been sitting there for a while and Lena just patiently waited and sipped on her coffee as she watched Kara stare out into oblivion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before I landed on earth I was stuck in my pod for 24 years,” Kara suddenly spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “I had just watched my planet explode and my family die. I was supposed to be on my way to earth behind Kal but my pod got knocked of course. For 24 years I had been completely alone. When I came to earth and Kal brought me to the Danvers', I was overwhelmed. But they taught me how to manage.” Kara paused and took in a deep breath. “I lost my world. But for some reason, after that alien blew up and I found myself in the middle of nowhere, I felt more alone than I had ever felt in my life. I lost Eliza, Alex and the rest of the superfriends.” Kara turned to face Lena, “I lost you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara started to cry again. She didn’t want to burden Lena with that so she set down her coco and turned away. Lena heard her and moved closer to her, resting a hand on her shoulder. As soon as Lena did, Kara started sobbing. Lena pulled her towards her into a hug and lied there, with Kara on top of her. Lena brushed her hand through Kara's hair, trying to soothe her. But all she could think was how badly she wanted to take Kara’s pain away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ When I came back to earth, I found out that 9 and a half months had passed. I had no idea. I was gone for so long and I wasn’t there for you or Alex or anyone. I thought I’d died when in reality all I did was cause everyone pain by not getting back sooner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shhhh, it’s okay. We’re okay now. You’re here and that’s all that matters. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Since wen did Lena get so touchy? I think I might need to fix that detail. OR I could say that she became touchy because she can't get her hands off of Kara. <br/>Although, in the context of this story, that might be a little bit of a weird thing to say. (At the moment)<br/>Anyways,<br/>'Till next time my dudes.<br/>-M</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Breaking Apart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kara joins the superfriends for game night. Will everything go as planned?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I realize this writing style is a bit different from my other chapters, I just hope it still works.<br/>This chapter has about 1800 words in it.</p><p>Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It hadn’t been long since that night at the penthouse. Kara had been spending more and more time with Lena. Kara came to visit at work, during lunch. After work, they would sit and watch movies or just talk about nothing and everything. Lena really enjoyed this time with Kara but couldn’t help but notice that she hardly spent time with anyone else, especially Alex.</p><p>Was Kara avoiding them? She had only been back for a week and had yet to meet up with the rest of the superfriends. Winn, Nia and Brainy asked about her a lot but understood she needed space. Sam came to National City with Ruby to say hello. Kelly and Alex were patiently waiting to see Kara again. But Kara never made an effort to reach out. Was she scared?</p><p>Lena kept thinking about Kara as she was blankly staring into the wall behind her laptop at her office. Then there was a knock on her office door. The door opened and Kelly walked in.</p><p>“I hope you don’t mind me passing by,” Kelly smiled, handing Lena a cup of coffee.</p><p>“No, not at all. What can I do for you?”</p><p>“It’s about Kara.”</p><p>As if on command, Lena’s body tensed up and her mind started imagining the worst case scenarios.</p><p>“Lena, she’s okay. She is still safe and is doing some final tests at the DEO with Alex.”</p><p>Lena relaxed at that statement and Kelly sat down. </p><p>“So what about Kara?” Lena asked curiously with a hint of worry tinting her voice.</p><p>“You’ve noticed how she’s avoiding everyone right?” Lena nodded, “Well, I’m here to ask you for a favor. I think we need to get her to meet up with the others. It might help her cope with the trauma she had experienced.”</p><p>“Did she tell you anything about it?”</p><p>“No. I only know about what Alex told me. Even that is enough to give someone PTSD and she has a lot of it,” Kelly paused, “look, it is my professional opinion that getting her in a group setting with her friends is crucial for her recovery. But it can’t be forced. I want you to ask her to come to game night tomorrow night. She trusts you and this would be good for her.”</p><p>“I’ll try. But she isn’t really doing well with group setting at the moment. A few days ago, she had two pretty big panic attacks when we were out. But I get what you mean. Maybe she’ll feel more comfortable around people that know her.”</p><p>“Precisely. I will have a chat with everyone, once you tell me she’s ready, to make sure they know what not to do. Thank you Lena.”</p><p>“No, thank you, Kelly,” Lena smiled at Kelly.</p><p>“Miss Luthor?” Jess interrupts  as she peeks through the office doors, “Miss Arias is here.”</p><p>“Let her in Jess.”</p><p>Lena gets up and walks to the side of her desk as Sam walks in.</p><p>“Sam. I’m glad you’re finally here. How was your flight?”</p><p>“It was great, thanks,” Sam said as she pulled Lena into a hug, “I’m glad to be back.”</p><p>Lena turned towards Kelly and introduced them to one another. They had a short conversation before Kelly excused herself. </p><p>“So, what’s up with you and Kara?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“She just came back from the dead and you still haven’t confessed your feelings.”</p><p>“Sam,” Lena said, surprised by Sam’s forwardness.</p><p>“What? When she was gone, all you could talk about was how you missed the chance to tell her how you felt. And you’re telling me now that she’s back you chickened out?”</p><p>“It's not the right time. She’s going through a lot and telling her how I feel is just going to make everything worse.”</p><p>“You don’t know that,” Lena glared at Sam in response, “look. All I’m saying is that letting her know that you love her might make her feel safer.”</p><p>Lena couldn’t come up with a response to that.</p><p>“Just consider it, Lena,” Same took in a deep breath, “anyways, Ruby is at home and she’s mad at me for missing one of her soccer games. Which is fair. Do you maybe want to go and cheer her up? She misses you.”</p><p>“Of course. Let me just grab my stuff.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Lena had just come back from a long evening of catching up with Sam. Lena kicked off her heels and pulled her phone out of her purse. She looked at the phone screen and saw a message from Kara that was sent at 12:39.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You up? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lena sighed. She had to ask Kara about game night but she didn’t know how.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yes. Want to come over? I need to ask you something. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That was not the right way to do it. Kara would probably panic and worry about what Lena had to say to her. Before Lena could type up another response, Kara knocked on Lena’s window. Lena walked over to her, opened the window and pulled her into a gentle hug. Kara took a deep breath before she spoke.</p><p>“Is everything okay?”</p><p>Lena pulled back, her hand resting on the back of Kara’s neck, and said, “Yeah. I just needed to ask you whether you were up for game night with the superfriends.” Lena felt Kara tense up in her arms. “Kara, darling. You need to talk to them. Kelly and I thought that maybe in an environment like game night, where everyone had some drinks and is relaxed, is a good place to start.”</p><p>Kara lowered her head and touched their foreheads together. Lena started drawing small circles on the nape of her neck and felt Kara relax into her arms.</p><p>“Okay. But please stay next to me?,” Lena nodded gently, “I don’t know why but I always feel a thousand times safer when I’m near you.”</p><p>“I’ll be there every step of the way. If you want to leave early? We can do that. And I’ll be here with you the entire time.”</p><p>Kara took in a deep breath and smiled.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>The bell rings when Kelly, Alex and Lena quickly turn their attention to Kara. </p><p>“Are you ready, darling?” Lena asks Kara. Lena’s pet names for her always gave her butterflies and calmed her nerves.</p><p>“Yes. It’s James and Winn by the way.”</p><p>Lena was hosting game night because her penthouse had more space than Kara’s or Alex’s apartment. All four of the were sitting on the couch, waiting for the others to arrive. The doorbell rang again.</p><p>“Oh right. The door,” Alex said, setting down her beer to get the door. </p><p>Lena and Kara had gotten up to join Alex and Kelly in greeting James and Winn. </p><p>“Hi Kara. You look good,” James gently smiled at her. </p><p>“Thank you. Want anything to drink?” she asked him.</p><p>“A beer please.”</p><p>“Me too,” Winn added.</p><p>“Me three,” Lena said as well.</p><p>“Alright,” Kara chuckled as she walked into the kitchen to get the drinks. </p><p>When Lena heard that chuckle, her heart melted and she looked at Alex who appeared to have felt the same. </p><p>All six of them were sitting down, listening to James talk about CatCo and how Cat was back. Apparently, Cat was driving everyone mad and she missed her star reporter. Kara smiled awkwardly at what James had said and Lena noticed. After that, Brainy and Nia had joined them. As they were being greeted by the others, Sam and J’onn walked in. Soon, all twelve of them were talking about their day at work while setting up a game of Monopoly. They had paired up into teams of two. James and J’onn were a team, Alex and Kelly were a team, Sam and Winn were a team, Brainy and Nia were a team and Kara and Lena were a team. </p><p>Even though they were all smiling, including Kara, Lena noticed how her eyes weren’t sparkling. Lena knew Kara’s smile better than she knew her own, so she noticed how Kara didn’t show the most genuine smile. Regardless, this was the happiest she had been around people in a long time, so Lena took it as a win.</p><p>___</p><p>“So, while you were gone, at the DEO we were getting out asses handed to us,” Winn had said, laughing slightly as he did so, “I’m glad you’re back. We, low-key, kinda suck without Supergirl.” Alex had nodded in agreement.</p><p>Lena immediately felt Kara tense up beside her. What had changed? Lena instinctively reached for Kara’s hand on her lap and Kara took it, wrapping their fingers in one another. </p><p>“Same thing at CatCo. It hasn’t been the same without you. Especially now that Cat is back,” Nia added. </p><p>Kara squeezed Lena’s hand tightly, almost too tight. Lena had to change the subject before Kara broke her hand. Thankfully the doorbell rang and the pizza delivery guy had arrived, effectively changing the subject. While all the other’s except for Kelly and Sam got up to get plates, Lena started rubbing her thumb on the outside of Kara’s hand. </p><p>“Heartbeat,” she whispers so quietly that only Kara could hear, causing Kara to loosen her grip on Lena’s hand a bit. </p><p>Kelly and Sam had noticed the change in energy between Kara and Lena and shared a look of worry with one another before looking at Lena. She understood their looks and waved them off discreetly in order to avoid attracting attention. Kelly and Sam understood and let it go.</p><p>___</p><p>For the rest of the evening, Kara was still tense but laughed along to the jokes and smiled all throughout the evening. Despite appearing so happy, Lena knew that it wasn’t truly genuine. She made a mental note to ask Kara about it later when they were alone.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“What happened today?” Lena asked.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Kara looks at Lena, knowing what she meant. Everyone had left and Lena had joined Kara on the balcony.</p><p>“You weren’t yourself tonight at game night.” Kara flinched slightly at Lena’s words. Lena moved closer, resting her head on Kara’s shoulder.</p><p>“Kara, darling. If you want me to help, you have to tell me what’s going on.” Kara didn’t respond. </p><p>“Does it have to do with Supergirl?” Lena looked back at Kara and saw her pull away at that question.</p><p>“Kara what’s going on?” Lena said, reaching out and placing her hand on Kara’s that had been resting on the railing of the balcony. As soon as their hands touched, Kara flew away as fast as she could. </p><p>Lena just stood there. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. Kara just left her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have about two other chapters left after this one. I can write a part two though. I was thinking maybe the part two can be more fluffy and talk about their relationship and not the angst.</p><p>Also, should I add smut? Is that something y'all want? I can do that thing where I can post the original chapter here and then post a "smut included" version separately and link it here if y'all want. Let me know what you guys want.</p><p>Anyways,<br/>'Till next time my dudes.<br/>-M</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. All I need is You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lena confronts Kara.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is a short one. It has 1300 words.<br/>Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lena stood on her balcony for what felt like hours, processing what had just happened. She knows. She knows Kara is going through something. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t. Lena lost the one person in this world that she trusted. Despite their trust having been tested by Kara’s secret, Lena understood. After years of lunches, movie nights and “less than platonic” moments, Lena realized that she depended on Kara. When she died, a part of Lena did too. And now, with Kara having left her standing, Lena felt pain. She felt the fear of Kara leaving her again. She knows it’s irrational, but she couldn’t help it. Lena needed Kara, no matter what her pride might say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena stood there a bit longer before looking out onto the city and up into the sky. That’s when she noticed a figure above her, sitting on the roof of her building with their feet dangling down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You left,” Lena said, leaning over the railing of the balcony.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The figure hesitated, but flew down next to her shortly after. Lena knew it was her but wasn’t ready to look at her yet so she kept talking out to the city.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You just left.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lena I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Lena interrupted, turning around to face Kara, “No. Let me talk… You just left. I know this is hard for you but you can’t just do that.” Tears started to form, making Lena’s eyes shine in the light of the night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lena-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“NO!” Lena yelled. “You don’t get to just leave. Not after I lost you. I lost you Kara. I lost you. And now that I have you back, I am not letting go.” She started sobbing. “You died Kara. You were gone for a whole fucking year. Alex lost her sister Kara. You guys were so close. You were the life of our lives and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“STOP,” Kara yelled, causing Lena to jump back in shock. Kara looked down and whispered, “I’m broken, Lena.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite how furious Lena was, her heart broke at that statement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care how fucked up you think you are, I can handle it. I am here. But you have to let me be. I can’t lose you again Kara.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t be her. I can’t be Kara Danvers, the bright, happy reporter that makes everyone smile. She makes everyone’s day a bit better and lightens the moods during game nights. She is the person people go to when they want ‘happy’. I can’t be her. I can’t be Supergirl who is tough and always knows what to do. She is invulnerable and will save the day no matter what. I can’t be either of them. I’m broken Lena, and I’m trying but Alex and the others always want me to be either or and I can’t be. I can’t be who they- you, need me to be.” Kara said, at the verge of breaking down in tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena was in shock. She finally realized the weight she carried on her shoulders. As if finally seeing who she was, Lena walked closer to Kara and cupped her cheek gently. She lifted her chin up, forcing Kara to look her into the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then be Kara Zor-El.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears started falling down Kara's cheek and Lena wiped them away, bringing her other hand up to cup the other side of Kara’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Darling, all I need in this world is you. All you have to do is be you, ugly side and all,” Lena chuckled, “although I doubt there’s an ugly side to you. You are beautiful Kara and I love you, every part of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena froze after what she had said, not letting go of Kara’s face. They were standing inches apart and Lena could feel Kara’s breath on her skin. Her eyes dart down to Kara’s lips and then back into those gorgeous blue eyes. Lena really wanted to kiss her. She wanted to show Kara how she felt and that she saw who she really was. She wanted to show Kara just how much she truly loved her and that she wasn’t afraid of her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena leaned in, closing the distance between them. Kara hesitated for a moment before sinking into Lena’s lips and wrapping her arms around her waist. Lena poured all the love she felt for Kara into the kiss and Kara felt it. It was electric and explosive but soft and sweet all at once. It felt amazing and all Kara could think was how she wanted more. She wanted to feel more of Lena, the only person that ever made her feel truly herself. Lena made her feel like Kara.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara’s grip around Lena’s waist tightened, pulling their bodies closer together. Lena’s arms wrapped around Kara’s neck. The kiss went from soft and sweet to desperate. They pulled each other even closer as the kiss became more heated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Inside,” Lena said into the kiss and Kara merely lifted her up. Lena wrapped her legs around Kara as she walked them inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena knew that this wasn’t a good idea. No matter how much she wanted Kara, this wasn’t the right time. But it was difficult to focus on logic when Kara’s hand was slowly making its way up Lena’s shirt as she was being pressed up against a wall. Kara’s touch was soft and warm on Lena’s pale and cold skin of her abdomen. If Lena didn’t stop this now, she wouldn’t be able to stop it at all, and a large part of her didn’t want to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara started kissing along Lena’s jawline and moved down to her neck. Lena cursed herself for being so attracted to the kryptonian.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kara-” Lena said, coming out as a moan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kara.” This time Lena was more firm, pushing Kara away a bit so she could look at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Kara whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena placed their foreheads together, still pressed against the wall with her legs wrapped around Kara. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can’t do this. Not yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara nodded, not letting go of Lena.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get some sleep,” Lena suggested and placed a gentle kiss against Kara’s lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>___</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena looked at herself in the mirror as she got ready for bed. She was quite worked up but it was nothing she couldn’t handle. She had been pining over Kara for as long as they were friends so a few more weeks couldn’t hut. Right? What Lena couldn’t believe is that she finally kissed her. Even more surprising was her confession. Lena had confessed her feelings for Kara before she even had the chance to ask her out. Regardless, Lena didn’t regret anything. She was just happy that Kara was back and that she was able to understand her better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena was almost done getting ready when she noticed a hickey on the side of her neck. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh boy,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Lena thought to herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she got out of the bathroom she saw Kara curled up in the middle of the bed. Kara was wearing one of Lena’s hoodies and mini shorts. Lena walked up to the bed, stopping right at the edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara looked over her shoulder at Lena.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep,” she smiled gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any regrets?” Lena was hesitant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Kara blushed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena got into bed and under the covers and made herself comfortable. They lied there in silence for a moment before Kara spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Lena.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope this chapter didn't feel rushed. Also, I didn't end up writing smut because some of you told me that maybe it wasn't the right time and I am greatfull for that. I'm glad with how it turned out so far. There is one more chapter left and it'll be less of a plot and more like a "closing up" situation. </p><p>Anyways,<br/>'Till next time my dudes.<br/>-M</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Khap Zhao Rrip</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A month after the last chapter.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know i posted this one a bit late but here we are. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that read this story and that commented. It means the world to me.</p><p>This is a short chapter and has 1000 words. words in italic are spoken in kryptonian.</p><p>Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Hey. How was your first day back at CatCo?” Lena asked Kara from where she had been sitting on her couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been a month since Kara opened up about how she felt. Lena had insisted that she should stay with her until she was ready to live alone and Kara hesitantly agreed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was okay. I was overwhelmed a bit and it was hard to focus on what Snapper was saying but Cat was there. She saw me start to panic and calmed me down,” Kara responded as she placed her bag next to the couch and took off her coat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Lena heard what she said, she immediately closed her laptop and followed Kara into the kitchen where she was getting a glass of water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” she asked carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara turned around and saw the concern in Lena’s eyes. She set the glass down and pulled Lena into to a hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. I’m okay. I was a bit shaken but I’m okay,” Kara rested her chin on Lena’s shoulder as they melted into the hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara pulled back, her hands still on Lena’s waist, and looked into her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing home so early?” Kara’s eyebrows crinkled together, “Did you come home early to make sure I was okay after my first day back at work?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena nodded as she studied Kara’s expression. She brought her hand up behind Kara’s neck and gently played with the baby hair. “I was really worried. I know you’re a grown ass woman and you can handle yourself but I was still worried.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara brought their foreheads together and sighed, “I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” Lena said, a smile escaping as she did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too,” Kara said, placing a kiss on Lena’s forehead, “I also love saying that I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena couldn’t help but giggle. She had ever felt so strongly about anyone, let alone giggled when someone said the three magic words. This was all new to her but she wouldn’t have it any other way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna order take-out? I feel like eating pot-stickers,” Kara grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see your appetite has come back,” Lena chuckled as she reluctantly pulled away to order their food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Kelly says it’s because I feel safer and more secure. I’m not really sure what it means. Maybe I’m getting better at coping with what happened,” Kara sighed as she dropped down onto the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara still hadn’t talked too much about what happened but when she did, Lena made sure to memorize every detail. She wanted to know all of Kara, even her traumatic past. If Kara could help her with all of her messed up family issues, Lena could be there for her too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how was therapy,” Lena asked cautiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to be afraid to ask, Lena. If I don’t feel comfortable talking about it, I’ll let you know,” Kara kissed Lena’s cheek as Lena sat next to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena curled into Kara’s side and relaxed into her warmth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was okay. I’m still getting used to the fact that Kelly is my therapist though. It was weird at first but since this was my seventh session, it’s less weird? I don’t know. It feels good to talk about it though. To try and process and piece the puzzle together so I can eventually tell you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to tell me?” Lena looked up at Kara.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. But I’m not ready yet. I promise that one day I’ll tell you everything. Even about Krypton.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena rested her head on Kara’s chest and listened to her heartbeat. Thanks to Kara, Lena was able to appreciate how intimate knowing someone’s heartbeat is. As she listened, she thought about where she was a year ago. She was lost, buried in mountains of work, drinking herself to sleep every night. Now, she was in the arms of the love of her life, listening to her “very much alive” heartbeat. Lena was happy, truly happy. Happier than she had been in a long time. They still had a long way to go but she was happier than she could’ve ever imagined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking about?” Kara asked as she looked at the painting on the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking about how lucky I am that you’re here. And how much I love you,” Lena paused, “I was also thinking about how we have a long way to go but that I wouldn’t want my life to go any differently. I want you to be happy and safe and I want to be there with you every step of the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking that too,” Kara said smiling as she took her hand and lifted Lena’s chin. She looked into her eyes before looking down and kissing Lena softly. It was sweet and gentle. Lena could feel all the love that was being poured into the kiss. Lena broke the kiss and got up to straddle Kara’s lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t ever want to live without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Kara could respond, Lena kissed her passionately and intensely as she brought her hands back to Kara’s neck. Kara’s hands rested on Lena’s hips, pulling her impossibly closer. Kara slowly brought her hands up Lena’s back and started to draw circles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lena, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you are my sun during the day, my stars during the night. You are the one that fuels my light. You are the one that keeps me strong and never made me feel alone. Because of you, I was able to be the beacon of hope, the light that everyone needed. You gave me a reason to keep fighting, to stay, when it felt like my world was ending,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Kara looked deeply into Lena’s eyes as she spoke with pure emotion. Lena might not have been able to understand the words, but she knew. She knew what they meant. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You are my reason to stay when I feel like I can no longer fight. You are the love of my life, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Lena Luthor. Khap zhao rrip</span>
  <span>.</span>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Kara Zor-El.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It's been a long ride. I plan on writing part two but maybe instead of posting every day i'll post every two day. Either way. I have decided to make a part two. Stay tuned to see when the new part gets posted. Also... (Khap zhao rrip = I love you)<br/>Thank you so much for reading and I hope you guys have a wonderful life. :))</p><p>'Till next time my dudes.<br/>-M</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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